


This is Home

by pr0blematic



Series: Tommy Angst [7]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Accidental Coming Out, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Author Projecting onto TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Awkward Conversations, Awkwardness, Coming Out, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Older Sibling Wilbur Soot, Platonic Relationships, Post-Op, Pre-op, Recovery, Surgery, Trans Male Character, Trans TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Transgender, Transphobia, Younger Sibling TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), accidental transphobia, ftm Tommyinnit, its a verbal agreement to be brothers, mentioned transphobia, theyre not really brothers, top surgery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:13:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29383971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pr0blematic/pseuds/pr0blematic
Summary: Tommy is finally getting Top-Surgery, but he hasn't come out to his friends, so he lies about why he's taking a break.
Relationships: Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Series: Tommy Angst [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1980241
Comments: 30
Kudos: 855





	This is Home

**Author's Note:**

> this is NOT a ship fic, and if you sexualise tommy and wilbur's relationship or if yo sexualise tommy or wilbur i will personally shove your own foot so far up your ass you'll be picking toes out of your teeth for weeks. (not my own threat, but i have no issues carrying it out)
> 
> WARNING: minor description of post-surgery injuries, but i don't think it's very detailed, so be warned of that and lmk if i should add tags.
> 
> !! i am not english and i have not had top surgery so a lot of recovery details i use are from vlogs from NOAHFINCE, thebendyboo, and Ash Hardell. !!
> 
> UPDATE: it was brought to my attention that Eret identifies as nb so i've changed that scene

“Right, boys!” Tommy yelled with a wide grin, leaning forward in his office chair as his eyes flicked towards the amount of viewers watching the stream. “Thank you all so much for tuning in and if you haven’t already, please turn on your notifications and comment in the chat that you’re a part of the _notification squad!”_

Tommy gave a brief grimace at the words and laughed when he saw chat calling out the YouTuber calling card. “In all seriousness, please turn on your notifications; it helps me out and it lets you know when I stream, even if it’s at a different time than when I usually stream.

“Thank you all so much for watching! As some of you may know, I’ll be taking a two-week break after this, but not to worry! I’ll be back on the SMP before you know it, I might even show up on other streams, but for the next two weeks TommyInnit will not be streaming!”

Tommy blew out a breath and leaned to the side so he could message Tubbo that he was ending the stream soon.

“Right! I see Awesamdude is streaming, I’m gonna go watch him for a bit before I start my homework—can I get any _homeworkinnit’s_ in the chat?” Tommy scrolled through twitch briefly, “Oh, Ranboo is streaming as well. Thank you all for watching, I hope you have a great night and I’ll be back in two weeks!”

Tommy double-checked that he’d ended stream before he leaned back in his office chair with a loud huff. He leaned forward to grab his coke can and finish it off before leaning back and tossing it in the bin.

A notification from discord popped up.

**[Tubbo]**

**in call wiht big q**

**aer you done?**

Tommy responded as soon as he’d read the message.

**[Tommy]**

**just finished**

**are you streaming still?**

Tubbo took five minutes to respond, and in the meantime, Tommy got up to stretch his legs and get out of his jeans so he could put on his pyjama bottoms.

He was slightly hungry, and debated on getting a snack. He checked the time and pursed his lips before deciding against going to the kitchen. His parents would likely still be awake, so he didn’t have to worry about being quiet, but he was nervous about tomorrow and didn’t really want to see them.

Just as he sat back in his desk chair, Tubbo messaged.

**[Tubbo]**

**no I finishd a wile ago**

**big q is stil streamiing tho**

**[Tommy]**

**do you still want to vc later?**

**[Tubbo]**

**of course! :)**

**with wilbur?**

**[Tommy]**

**probably**

**[Tubbo]**

**ok, ill call when i leav the stream**

Tommy didn’t bother responding.

He pulled open Minecraft and opened one of his private worlds. He really wasn’t a good builder—or, he was, but he wasn’t very good at designing buildings that _looked_ good—so as a way to help destress and pass the time, he made a creative world where he recreated builds that looked nice.

And only half of them were cobblestone.

His world didn’t look cohesive; one part was a vast, medieval castle and another was a small, one room cottage. He spent thirty minutes laying down a pathway throughout his builds; doing a grey-block based path as the main one that broke off to match the different aesthetics.

For the cottage, the path connected to a garden-like walk way that he’d seen on TikTok.

Tommy rubbed a hand on his shoulder idly and took a deep breath.

Tomorrow was the big day. And only three people knew about it.

Before Tommy could get his path to the watch tower, his discord started ringing from a call. He saw Tubbo’s icon and answered it as he continued to dig out the dirt to make room for his blocks.

“Hi, Tommy! Big Q’s still streaming, but I left early, so I called you.”

Tommy hummed in acknowledgement, not feeling the need to talk at the moment. He got like this after streaming sometimes. When he put so much energy into his online persona that, while he didn’t feel drained or exhausted, he felt muted. Like if he tried to be boisterous it would fall flat.

He’d bounce back in an hour, and if he didn’t, he would after a night’s rest.

“What’re you doing?” Tubbo asked. Tommy could hear the other clicking his keyboard.

“Makin’ a path on my world. What about you?”

“Messaging Technoblade to ask if he wants to join us later.”

Tommy nodded without realising that his face cam was off.

For a while, the two enjoyed being on call together while doing separate things. Tommy wasn’t sure exactly _what_ Tubbo was doing, seeing as it didn’t take that long to talk to Techno, but the quiet wasn’t uncomfortable.

After a while, Techno joined them, and then after that Wil joined as well.

“Aw, is Philza not coming?” Wilbur complained when he noticed the older man’s absence.

“Philza—Philza—Philza,” Techno chanted quietly.

Tommy snorted and spun his chair side to side leisurely. He reached he hand up and rested it on the back of his chair. “I dunno, you can ask him. I haven’t talked to Phil today.”

“Cretin.” Wilbur snarked before the sound of rustling came through his mic as he shifted to message Philza.

“It’ll be like Sleepy Boi’s plus Tubbo!” Tubbo yelled quietly. His parents were _definitely_ asleep, Tommy thought with a slight smile.

“And Tommy,” the blonde added.

“And Tommy, what?” Wilbur asked, as he tuned back into the conversation.

“Tubbo said, ‘Sleepy Boi’s plus Tubbo’ and I said ‘and Tommy’.”

Wilbur made a noise. “You’re a part of Sleepy Boi’s Inc., Tommy! And Tubbo you can join!”

Technoblade clicked his tongue, “ _Technically_ , Tommy’s right.”

Tommy laughed quietly as he imagined Wilbur rolling his eyes and Techno just deadpanned explaining the history of _Sleepy Boi’s_.

“Who cares about that?” Wilbur asked. “Most people see Tommy as a Sleep Boi and Tubbo too.”

The discord made a sound signalling someone joining the call.

“Ay, mates.” Philza greeted.

“Phil, tell Tubbo and Tommy they’re a part of Sleepy Boi’s Incorporated!”

Philza let out a loud breath, “Jesus Christ, not you too Wil.”

“Come on, dadza!” Wilbur whined loudly, obviously not meant to be taken seriously.

Tubbo laughed loudly and Tommy barked out one as well. Techno let out a sarcastic, “ _Hah_.”

Tommy took a breath and winced at the feeling in his chest. He picked lightly at the bottom of his binder and debated on taking it off. It had been well over eight hours, but his binder rarely caused discomfort.

He’d fallen asleep in it before and woken up fine.

“So, Toms. Heard you’re takin’ a break?” Philza asked.

Tommy hummed and couldn’t stop the grin on his face, “That’s right, even a big man needs a break every once in a while!”

Wilbur cackled and Philza huffed out a laugh. Wilbur really was like an older brother in how much he encouraged Tommy’s less-than-proper behaviour.

“Aren’t you getting surgery?” Tubbo asked.

“Surgery?”

“Hah?”

“Wait, seriously?”

Tommy let out a laugh at their reactions. Technoblade was _exactly_ like his SMP character. Sometimes, Tommy would forget they were streaming with how authentic the man was. And Philza sounded exactly like a dad that it was easy to see why the family dynamics between them was popular.

“It’s not a big deal.” Tommy assured, looking around his room for his water bottle before remembering it was in the wash.

“What’s it for?” Philza asked.

“And how could you not tell us?” Wilbur fired, sounding slightly offended.

“It’s seriously not a big deal, and honestly, I forgot!”

That was a lie. The surgery was a big deal, but not for what they’d think. Tommy hadn’t told them about the surgery because he hadn’t _told_ them.

Tomorrow, Tommy was getting Top Surgery. He’d been waiting, officially, for two years. It had been a real struggle with his parents to find a good private practice that would allow Tommy to have the procedure, even though he was sixteen.

He’d mentioned it to Tubbo on accident.

(Tubbo’s dad was going to be in town visiting an old friend. “We can meet up and go to the park!”

Tommy rolled his eyes, “I’ll still be in recovery, Tubbo.”

“Recovery?”)

So, Tommy made up a bullshit answer that, surprisingly enough, fit well with Top Surgery. Nothing serious that would make people worry, an estimated two weeks recovery (not a complete healing, but enough so that he could stream again), he couldn’t stream while recovering, and it was common enough no one would ask questions.

In reality, Tommy couldn’t stream because people would see the tubes and plastic sacs attached to his chest that got the rest of the fluid out, but everyone would assume he wouldn’t be able to talk. Or some shit like that; Tommy wasn’t a hundred percent sure what a tonsillectomy was.

“A tonsillectomy?” Wilbur repeated dumbly.

“Yeah. I get strep a lot and my tonsils are kinda swollen—they got too powerful so the doctor decided to remove them.” Tommy felt his energy rising the longer he talked with his friends, but not so much that he wouldn’t be able to sleep later.

He’d researched why people got tonsillectomies as soon as he’d told Tubbo that’s what it was for.

Tubbo let out a whine, “I’m so jealous, you get so much ice cream!”

Techno huffed a laugh and Wilbur got closer to the mic, “Tubbo, you don’t _have_ to get your tonsils removed to have ice cream.”

Tommy let out a long groan. “I’m bored guys! Can we turn on face cams!”

Wilbur let out a laugh, but soon enough his face blinked onto Tommy’s screen. Wilbur was wearing his glasses and a baggy sweatshirt.

“Absolutely not.” Techno responded.

Philza chuckled, “No offense, but I don’t think he meant you, mate.”

Tubbo’s face cam turned on as well, and he looked like he hadn’t gotten ready for bed after Quackity’s stream. He was still in a long sleeve t-shirt and it looked like he’d been at his desk for a while.

“Hey guys,” Tommy said in a low, flat voice.

“Hey, Tommy!” Tubbo greeted enthusiastically, as if they were still recording.

Wilbur mumbled back a greeting as he stared bored at his own computer screen.

“You’re not joining in on the fun, Mr. Minecraft?” Tubbo asked, in a way that was purely curious that it was just _Tubbo_.

Phil laughed good-natured, “Not tonight, lads. I already turned my computer set up off and I don’t feel like getting’ it back on.”

Tommy let out a hum while no one else bothered to respond.

After a while, Wilbur spoke up, “Techno, are you _still_ logged into the SMP?”

“Goin’ on fourteen hours!” Techno responded in his character voice.

It made Tubbo and Tommy laugh—Tubbo going so far as to start slapping his thigh—but Philza gave a disbelieving chuckle.

“Jesus, mate!”

Wilbur leaned forward, “Techno, you seriously need to log off and go to sleep!”

“The Blade don’t need no rest!” Tommy nearly shouted, bracing himself on the arms of his chair to push himself up and forward.

“Sleep is for the weak!” Technoblade added. Then in a calmer voice, “But seriously, I am really tired so I’m gonna log off.”

He was met with several acknowledgements ranging from murmured words to drawn out hums.

“Oh, and—uh, Tommy. Message me if you, like, die from surgery I guess.”

Tommy belted out a cackle as the others laughed as well. “This isn’t that type of surgery, but I’ll let you know if I become Ghostinnit.”

Technoblade hung up without saying anything more and it made Tommy laugh for a bit longer.

He checked the time and sighed, “I should go, too. Gotta rest up for tomorrow.”

“What time’s the procedure?” Philza asked as Wil muttered, “Can’t believe you didn’t tell us.”

“I forgot, alright?” Tommy snarked at Wilbur before answering Phil, “Gotta be at the clinic by eleven but I don’t know the exact time.”

“Shit, dude, you should be asleep right now.” Tubbo interjected with his eyebrows raised.

“Yeah, I’ll talk to you guys later okay?”

“Wait, how long will you be in the hospital?” Wilbur asked, slightly rushed.

“I think just a day. Dunno, really.” Tommy answered with a shrug. He’d seen lots of Top Surgery vlogs and they never seemed to be in the hospital long, but he also wasn’t sure how long it was estimated for tonsillectomy recovery.

“Right, well, good luck!” Phil called out.

Tubbo perked up, “Yeah, good luck, Tommy! Message me when you’re done!”

Tommy snorted and quietly mimicked, “Message me when you are done with surgery!”

“Okay, gremlin child! Go to sleep and update us when you can,” Wil ordered.

“Will do. Night!”

Tommy hung up and leaned back in his chair. He picked at the edge of his binder through his shirt with a frown. His binder wasn’t uncomfortable, but he was tired of constantly wearing it. It wasn’t a struggle to put on, but Tommy always felt his mood drop when he had to wrestle with the clothing to get it over his shoulders and straighten it from where it’d bunch across his chest.

He turned off his computers and stood up. He took off his binder from under his shirt and let out a grunt as he wrestled his left arm free. A pressure was loosened in his chest but it didn’t make him feel any relief. He got in bed after turning off the lights and tried not to think about how much tomorrow was going to change him.

He smiled widely at the thought and stared at the wall across from him until his eyes slipped close.

Tommy woke up with his chest stinging and his throat sore. He could feel something tight across his chest but his eyes felt too dry to open and check.

After a while of blinking his eyes open slowly, he looked down to see a black vest peaking out of his hospital gown. For a moment, Tommy thought the surgery hadn’t happened and he was just wearing a new binder, but after trying to lift his arm and finding an IV taped to his hand as well as a sharp stinging under his chest, he realised the vest was what held the drains.

He turned his head and saw his mum sitting in the chair next to his bed, on her phone. His dad hadn’t been allowed in, but since Tommy was a minor, his mum was able to stay with him.

Tommy made a weak noise to get her attention, and she looked up before smiling softly, “How are ya feelin’, Tommy?”

Tommy gave a hum of displeasure before rasping, “Throat hurts.”

She gave a soft laugh and leaned forward so she could rub his arm in a comforting manner, “The doctor said it might. Any pain otherwise?”

He squinted his eyes closed and nodded, “Feel sick.”

“I’ll call the nurse.”

She stood up and walked around to the other side of the bed.

The rest was a drowsy blur. Tommy had to get himself off of the bed and into a wheel chair so they could get him to the car, and his upper torso was a mix of deep soreness and sharp pain digging into his sides.

When they got Tommy to the car and into the passenger seat, the nurse spoke up. “Here are some pain pills. He can take them whenever he feels he can stomach it. Just take it easy for the next couple of days and we’ll see you for your post-op check-up.”

Tommy let his mum respond for him as he slowly relaxed in the car seat and closed his eyes.

She got into the car and started the engine, “Tired?”

Tommy nodded sluggishly and they drove home in silence.

Wilbur hadn’t heard anything from Tommy in three days. Sure, the blonde boy just had surgery, but Wilbur had had a tonsillectomy and he was texting his friends within the first day out of pure boredom.

Wilbur was, frankly, getting a little worried. Especially when Tubbo and Philza said they hadn’t heard anything either.

Wilbur messaged Tommy for the sixth time before biting the inside of his cheek and tapping his phone to draft a new message.

**[Wilbur Soot]**

**Hello, this is Wilbur Soot. Tommy gave me your number a while back for emergencies and I just wanted to check up on how he was doing from the surgery.**

He waited nearly an hour for a response. He busied himself with doing laundry and making his bed. He gave up halfway through with his shirts still in the laundry basket and his bed spread wrinkled. He flopped face down before rolling over and scrolling through twitter.

It was when he was liking fanart that Tommy’s mum replied.

**[MotherInnit]**

**Wilbur, how are you! Tommy’s doing fine, just tired**

**I wasn’t aware that you knew what was going on.**

Wilbur huffed out a laugh. Even Tommy’s mum knew her son was negligent of letting other people know about his health. Tubbo had told him Tommy _accidentally_ told him.

Thank god for small miracles, otherwise Tommy would’ve gone through recovery without anyone wishing him well.

Wilbur had a tonsillectomy when he was around Tommy’s age, so he knew how much it sucked with his throat sore and not being able to stream. Not that Wilbur had been a streamer at Tommy’s age.

**[Wilbur Soot]**

**Yes, I’ve actually had the same thing done!**

**I was hoping I could stop by and surprise him, maybe bring some stuff that helped me recover faster**

**[MotherInnit]**

**Really?? We had no idea, I bet he’s so glad he can talk to someone about it!**

**I think that’s a great idea, he’d be so excited to see you, he keeps talking about the last time you two met in person. He really sees you as a brother.**

Wilbur’s eyebrows furrowed before smoothing out as a wide grin split his face. He really did see Tommy as a younger brother, so it was nice that the blonde saw him the same way. Tommy always said he did, but having his mother confirm it really made Wilbur’s heart feel warm.

**[Wilbur]**

**When would be a good time to come by?**

**[MotherInnit]**

**The middle of next week would be best.**

**Give him a chance to rest before you show up LOL.**

Wilbur’s nose scrunched up as he laughed. Mum’s were the best when it came to texting.

Surely Tommy would appreciate tubs of ice cream and jello. Wilbur certainly had; he’d practically lived off the stuff for a week and a half before his throat felt okay enough for real food.

Besides, Wilbur _had_ enjoyed Tommy’s company, despite what he said online. Tommy was—and Wilbur would never admit this out loud, much less on stream—actually pretty funny. Much more so in person when Wilbur could hear just how loud Tommy actually was.

Seeing him in person would be pretty cool, especially if Tommy let Wilbur film it for a bit to put in another vlog. Even if that didn’t happen, Wilbur was admittedly excited to see the younger again so soon.

Tommy had just gotten his drains removed. It was painful and disgusting, but they were out and the constant pain he felt digging into his sides had lessened marginally to a fading ache. Cleaning his drains was definitely one of the top three worst experiences in his life.

It hurt to have to mess with the tubes and it was disgusting to try and get all of the fluid into the plastic packs that rested in the pockets of his post-op vest. Dumping them was equally awful as Tommy was constantly nauseous since the surgery and the smell made him sick.

Another issue was the brightness of the bathroom lights. While recovering, Tommy had developed a sensitivity to lights and if he was under fluorescence too long, he got migraines.

Now, though, the drains were out.

Even so, despite how tired and awful, there was an underlying happiness he felt whenever he past the mirror and saw the vest around his chest, knowing it wasn’t a binder to compress his chest and that the vest was snug but not constricting.

Knowing that under his vest there were bandages but no breasts was an awesome feeling, and Tommy found himself going around the house shirtless more often than not. Especially now that he could go around _without_ the vest.

It still hurt to sit slouched for too long, which was a shame because his posture was shit and he was constantly slouching, but he didn’t hate laying in bed most of the day. He found himself playing his Nintendo switch more often; it was more comfortable and he didn’t have to hunch over a keyboard.

He heard his mother talking to someone downstairs, but he was too preoccupied with his switch to really pay attention to what was happening. There was a man’s voice, which wasn’t all too weird considering their neighbour liked to stop by once a week to catch up.

There was a knock on his door and it made his brows furrow. His mum usually called out that she was coming in and she wouldn’t send their neighbour up.

“Yeah?” Tommy hollered, flicking through his games to see what to play next.

His door opened slowly and Tommy didn’t look up until he noticed it wasn’t his mum.

He stared dumbly as Wilbur Soot stood in the doorway holding a sack in his hands. Wilbur’s mouth hung open and his eyes were wide. Tommy looked behind him to see his mum standing there with a big smile, “I knew he’d be surprised! I’ll leave you _boys_ to it, shout if you need anything!”

With that, she turned away and went downstairs, leaving a gaping Wilbur Soot in the doorway.

Tommy was frozen. _Had his mom outed him?_ He’d told her that no one online knew he was trans… surely, she wouldn’t have told _Wilbur_.

Wilbur blinked and tried not to stare at the stitching across Tommy’s chest or how awful his upper chest looked with bruising. “That’s not a tonsillectomy,” Wilbur blurted.

Tommy flinched back and let out a nervous laugh, “Oh, ha, yeah. Uh—this is,” Tommy trailed off, not knowing how to respond. He looked to the side awkwardly and slowly set his Nintendo switch down on his lap and Wilbur shifted on his feet.

“I brought, uh, ice cream. And jello!” Wilbur tried weakly.

Tommy sighed and pushed himself up slowly, “Just—come in and shut the door.”

“Are you sure?” Wilbur asked, stepping into Tommy’s room anyway. The brunette hesitated when closing the door, but figured Tommy wouldn’t want his parents overhearing them.

“Yeah, and hand me a shirt, would you?”

Wilbur looked around the room before spotting Tommy’s red and white baseball tee. He picked it up and darted a glance back at Tommy’s chest, “Won’t it…hurt?” He passed the shirt off to Tommy and sat in the blonde’s desk chair at the younger’s gesture.

Tommy made a noise and slowly stretched his arms up to fit it on. “A little…not too bad now, though.”

Wilbur waited for Tommy to finish getting dressed. He looked around the room and found it surprisingly clean, aside from laundry on the floor. Wil tapped his foot and found himself spinning the chair side-to-side.

Tommy let out a huff when he finally got the shirt over his head and he gently flopped against his pillows.

“How—” They both began before stopping. It had never been this awkward before. Even when they’d first met in person and Wilbur kept thinking, _God, this is so awkward. Why did I agree to this, he’s a child and I’m over twenty and the only thing we have in common is Minecraft! What do I say? How’s homework? Nobody likes homework, I can’t ask about homework!_

This was worse because Tommy had lied about, what looked like, a serious medical procedure. There were two large cuts around where Tommy’s pectorals would end—if Tommy actually had pectorals and not a flat chest with how skinny he was.

The stitches looked gruesome surrounded by green and yellow bruising, and even then, Wilbur was only seeing them through what looked like tape.

Tommy crossed his arms and tried not to glare, “How’d you find out?”

Wilbur tried not to seem eager at the chance to talk. Tommy was being very quiet and it felt weird and wrong. “Oh, I—” Wilbur got cut off.

“Was it my mum? Did she tell you?”

“No-no, it—I think it was an accident.”

Tommy blinked before furrowing his brows and curling his lip down, “How?”

How could it be an accident that his closest online friend found out he was trans. How could someone even make that mistake? _Oh, and by the way, did you know Tommy is trans?_

“Um, well, I texted your mum when you weren’t responding. I told her I had a tonsillectomy and I—just, look.” Wilbur stopped and pulled out his phone, swiping through to find the text conversation with MotherInnit. Tommy was obviously very upset about Wilbur being here and knowing that whatever the surgery was for wasn’t for a tonsillectomy.

Shortly after trying to explain, Wilbur realised it sounded like Tommy’s mum _had_ told him.

He stood up and leaned over to hand Tommy his phone before sitting back down. He didn’t care if Tommy scrolled through.

Tommy gave a bitter snort, “So, it’s my fault then?” He raked a hand over his face and let out a low groan. _Jesus Christ._ Tommy really shouldn’t be surprised that it was his own mistake. He felt minorly guilty for blaming his mother, even if it _had_ happened before.

“I—I’m really confused, Tommy. What’s up with your—” Wilbur waved a hand towards Tommy, “—chest? Why’d you lie about it?”

Tommy set down Wilbur’s phone on the side of his bed. He really didn’t want people to know. With all the transphobia and memes, he _really_ hadn’t wanted to deal with that online. Tommy bit the inside of his lip and tried to think of something else to say. “What’s in the bag?”

“Ice cream. And…jello.” Wilbur repeated, feeling very out of place as he held up the plastic bag. He felt silly. Driving all the way to Tommy’s _house_ right after the blonde had surgery. _What had he been thinking?_ He should’ve just waited until Tommy responded on his own.

Tommy nodded his head towards it then looked back at Wil, “For me?”

Wilbur looked at the bag and nodded slowly, “Uh, yeah. Want it?” He put the bag on Tommy’s bed without waiting for a response and took his phone back. He held it with both his hands, his fingers linked together at the back as he picked at the volume buttons with his thumb.

Tommy muttered a thanks and rifled through the bag, looking at the different flavours. “Gotta spoon?” Tommy asked, slightly hopeful.

“No, sorry.” Wilbur figured they’d use metal.

Tommy huffed out a, “’Course.”

Tommy sucked in his cheeks and sighed. Best to rip the band-aid off now. “So…I’m trans.”

Wilbur shook himself at the abrupt change and sat up straighter. “You’re— _trans?_ ”

 _Like…LGBT trans?_ Wilbur thought. He looked at Tommy’s face and couldn’t see it. Tommy looked nothing like his mum. Wilbur had seen many trans kids online and they always had a certain…look about them. Most of them had piercings or dark hair.

When Wilbur scrolled through TikTok and found people coming out as trans men, he was never surprised, but with _Tommy?_

Tommy picked at his bed sheet, “Yeah. I was, er, born a girl. But I’m not.”

Wilbur blinked and looked around the blonde’s room. It looked like a normal guy’s room. There was no trans flag or pins or LGBT posters. Hell, Tommy looked like every other English boy. “But, um, you don’t look trans.”

Tommy snorted and his lips twitched downwards, “Tha’s a bit transphobic, big man.”

Wilbur rushed to defend himself, “I didn’t mean it that way, just…I see a lot of trans kids and y’know, they _look_ like they’re trans—but you don’t!”

Tommy shook his head with a wry grin, “Really not helping. It’s…it’s kind of really harmful to say things like that. It’s like—it’s like if I see you, I see how dark your eyes are and say ‘oh, you look depressed’ but then someone else who looks perfectly fine I say, ‘you look fine, so you are fine.’”

Wilbur furrowed his brows, “That’s…that’s different because depression is a—it’s a mental disorder, it’s not based on how someone looks.”

“Neither is being trans. Just ‘cause I don’t like wearing black or getting a nose ring doesn’t make me any less trans.”

“Well…Yeah, but,” Wilbur faltered. He really hadn’t meant to offend Tommy. He’d meant it as a compliment! Tommy didn’t look trans, wasn’t that the point?

“Wilbur, being trans isn’t a bad thing.”

“No, I know.” Wilbur said, frowning. He had absolutely nothing against trans people.

“When you,” Tommy hesitated as he thought about how to phrase it, “When you say I don’t look trans, that isn’t a compliment because it implies looking trans isn’t _good_. I know—you didn’t mean it that way,” Tommy said when he saw Wil about to interject, “but, just…it’s like you’re putting down other trans people to make me feel better just because I look ‘cis’ and they don’t.”

Wilbur was at a loss. He hadn’t really thought about it before, but was looking trans bad? He did always snort when he saw the same septum piercing and eyeliner and see the caption read [He/him]. Was that transphobic?

“I’m—I’m sorry.”

Tommy shrugged it off. It wasn’t that big of a deal, and Tommy hadn’t meant to rant, but now that he had someone who knew, he didn’t want them to think that was what he wanted to hear.

Wilbur tried not to seem too tense so he leaned back into the chair and flicked his gaze from Tommy and Tommy’s hands so he didn’t seem overbearing.

“So,” Wilbur began, not really knowing what to say. “How—er.”

Tommy glared at his bedding. “I’ve known since I was young and I’ve always felt like a boy.”

Tommy knew that Wilbur wasn’t in the LGBT community, but he’d thought maybe the older was above asking ‘how did he know’ or ‘how old was he when he found out’. Tommy really shouldn’t be surprised.

Wilbur’s eyebrows raised at the hostility and he nodded slowly, “Okay, but, uh, how are you feeling?”

_What?_

Tommy’s head jerked up to look at Wil’s face and Wilbur tried not to flinch. _“What?”_

Wilbur swallowed thickly, “You just had surgery, on…” Wilbur waved a hand across his own chest, “ _y’know_. Are you feeling okay?”

“Oh.” Tommy mumbled. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m…feeling better.”

Wilbur nodded, “That’s good.”

Tommy tapped his finger and pursed his lips. “Please, don’t…tell anyone. I really didn’t want anyone to know, but…”

Wilbur rushed to shake his head, “No—of course not! Sorry I found out, I—I can’t imagine how this must feel, but—I—uh, just know that I’m here, yeah? I know we aren’t…blood related, or anything, but…I do, uh,” Wilbur coughed and felt his face heat up, “see you as a brother. Or whatever.” He mumbled at the end, but when he looked up Tommy was staring at him with his mouth hanging open.

Tommy could only stare in shock as he processed Wilbur’s words. “You still…see me as a brother?”

Wilbur snorted, “Of course. My younger _annoying_ brother.”

Tommy looked away quickly because he felt his throat closing up and he was not going to _cry_ in front of his older brother. “Right,” Tommy rasped, feeling his voice giving out on him.

“Toms? You okay?”

Tommy nodded because he didn’t trust himself to speak. Of course, Wilbur would be cool. Wilbur was the coolest, he’d never treat Tommy differently because he was _trans_. Tommy let out a wet laugh, “’s just…people—” Tommy stopped because he didn’t feel like he could go on without sobbing.

“People?” Wilbur encouraged, scooting the chair closer to the younger.

“They—people can be cruel. And, sometimes when they’ve found out—” Tommy’s voice faded and it hurt to swallow.

Wilbur felt his chest hurt, “Was someone mean to you? About this?”

Tommy nodded fiercely and Wilbur thinned his lips and glared at the ground. Wilbur tried to think of something to say. Something that would make Tommy feel better.

“Um, remember that bit where Fundy was my daughter but he wanted to be my son?”

Tommy slowly lifted his head and frowned at Wil, “Are you telling me to be your son?”

Wilbur reared his head back, “No—god, no! Just—that was on the SMP, where Fundy was trans. So, y’know, if you wanted to tell other people, I don’t think they’d—I think they would be very accepting.”

Tommy tried to blink away the stinging in his eyes, “Are you going to tell them?”

“No, I told you I wouldn’t! Just, if you ever want to— _not that you have to!_ —but if you want to, everything would be okay. And I’ll have your back.”

Tommy snorted and looked up at Wil from under his bangs and gave the first hint of a smile since Wilbur had shown up. “Thanks, big man. I…I don’t think I’m ready. Not yet and…maybe never.”

“And that’s completely fine! It’s nobody’s business but your own, and I won’t tell anyone!”

Tommy gave him a grateful smile. “Thanks.”

Wilbur shook his head, “You don’t have to thank me for being a decent person. Just—if I say something wrong, call me out on it? I don’t know much of anything about this, other than—like I know what your surgery was for.”

Tommy let out a startled laugh. “Yeah. Got my boobs chopped off.”

Wilbur cackled before slapping a hand over his mouth with his eyes wide. He stared at Tommy to see the younger one laughing. Wilbur slowly moved his hand down and let out a few chuckles. “Yeah. Is it—does it feel weird?”

Tommy leaned back to rest against his headboard, “That’s a bit weirdchamp. Asking a minor how his chest feels an’ all that.”

Wilbur covered his face with a groan, “Oh, fuck off! I’m trying to be considerate, Tomathy! It’s a sign of maturity!”

Tommy belted out a laugh, “You’ve never been mature a day in your _life_!”

Wilbur hid his grin behind the hands still covering the lower part of his face. This felt…better. It felt _normal_ , going back and forth with Tommy.

Tommy wasn’t different because he was trans. Or, maybe he was, but he wasn’t different because Wilbur found out he was trans.

Tommy wasn’t glad Wilbur found out this way. He still wasn’t sure if he was glad Wilbur knew, but the older man hadn’t done anything bad other than a harmless slip up that he hadn’t known was bad. _And_ , Tommy thought as Wilbur left and Tommy sat alone in his room, _it’s nice having someone on his side._

Wilbur said he wouldn’t tell anyone, and Tommy believed him.

And wasn’t that just the greatest feeling?

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: i do not claim to know anything about motherinnit or the relationship between tommy and his mother and i'm not assuming anything. this is based off of tommy's online character in a real world setting. i also do not believe wilbur is transphobic or would say any of these things, this is purely fictional and if any of the creators are uncomfortable, i will take this down.


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